Addiction: The Prince of Darkness (Jun 13, 2017)

 Hip update: I can't bowl.

I couldn't bowl very well before the new hip, but I could at least stroke the ball smoothly down the lane without pain or retarded movement. Loosen your brow, my movement is "retarded" by the lack of motion caused by my implant crookedness and pain. For the record; chicks dig "my implant crookedness and pain." Too easy.

There are only a few things to do in Omak and bowling is one of them. If you're in the market for a business idea, putt-putt golf is non-existent in Omak or Okanagon. Why? No green. But you can use that fake AstroTurf stuff my parents’ called “carpet” in our basement for greens and make a killing in both of these towns. But this is about my hip, not a gold-mine business idea. *Note: I have capital.

It’s actually not entirely about my hip either. I'm an anomaly. Talk with anyone with a hip replacement and they'll tell you the same thing: "It's been great, glad I did it, never felt better." Those people, by the Myers’ medical standard, are called; “lucky.” Physical therapy has helped, and I’m still giving it a year to see if works itself into the proper position but I’m not sorry I had it replaced. The pain was tiresome, walking was overrated because of it, and I just wasn’t in any good shape (think bagel with a banana). Also, I just had this brand new back I wanted to try out!

I don’t complain about stuff because I’m not a prima donna, nor do I know what that actually means. I just understand that every single one of us has some kind of pain in their lives and mine are no better or worse than the next person. So why burden them with my pain? So I don’t complain. Which brings us to why I’m ‘complaining’ about my pain now.

Prince is dead. I never cared for his music and can honestly tell you only 2-3 songs that I recognize. It’s not a lack of respect, I was just buried in Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, AC/DC, and you get the gist. But I’m seeing all kinds of Prince videos now. I’m watching the talent and I get it. The guitar licks alone rivaled, maybe even trivialized any of the garbage I was into. I certainly missed out over the years. He was a great talent and another person hampered by pain. Prince was addicted to Percocet and it ultimately ruined his life and those around him. Pain is not a trivial thing and how we handle it is more important than the pain itself.

As much as I get his talent now, I also get his addiction. Meaning, I understand how someone can use the medication to mask the agony. I’m not like that, I don’t like pain medication. After the back surgery I had a plethora of medication and even kept a spreadsheet replete with dates, amounts, time, milligrams, and scribblings. I was strict and followed directions- every two hours…Two of the fat ones, one of the small ones, three of those, drink of water, write it down. It was easy to not remember. It was easy to make a mistake. It was easy to overdose.

My case wasn’t bad by any standards. But I understand how people want to use medication to hide the pain. I wasn’t close to being addicted because I like my pain and masking it just leads to hurting myself more. However, I’m also fully aware that nobody is immune to any addiction. I like to think I see the bigger picture- that any addiction to anything leads to a “neglection” of everything else. I could have stayed doped up and in bed or on the couch and enjoy my highs while the family quickly settled into lows. I could use my pain as an escape from family functions and say that walking around Disneyland is just too much… Just so I could take my pills and wallow in my underwear unimpeded by people or morals. *Note: pills not needed to wallow in your underwear.

Your addictions carry so much weight and negativity to your family. The effects of your addiction go deeper than just your personal sorrow. Whatever that addiction may be, it can be a killer. I’m not complaining about my pain, I’m sharing my pain in an acknowledgment of your pain. We’re all in all of this together one way or another. Take care of yourself and get help.

Why the bowling connection? Nothing since the surgery has hurt worse than a simple bowling motion—bowling pose? Bowling stance? What the hell do you call it? Whatever you call it, I’m sure I looked good doing it. The thing is, I had my three boys and my best girl there and I wasn’t going to let a little pain stop me from enjoying them. I never once thought of taking any medication to mask that family feeling.

My talent is no longer bowling (but I am seriously interested in any venture capitalists or angel investors on “The Omak Stampede Pony Express Putt-Putt Golf Course” idea).

Whatever talent you felt Prince had, your talent is far greater to your family, and they need you.