Gerald Lutz

I keep thinking I’m going to be able to talk to you about things tomorrow, or the next day. I don’t like this. I’m going to miss our talks about family and the month of March just won’t be the same. You were a great friend with strong family values I appreciated. Gwen and I are still running the Hell Run with you in spirit this Saturday before the services and we’ll show up muddy and gross- just how you’d want it. I love you, man. And here’s to strength for Rachel and Danimal and your parents who lost two sons… and all your other family and friends who feel the deep impact of this loss but remember the deeper joy you brought to any room you entered. Cheers, Gerald.

http://bonneywatson.com/obituaries/detail.html?id=4344

You get many chances to friend people, take ‘em. Maybe you’ll meet someone famous or rich. Maybe it’ll be someone that knows someone with a yacht or has a friend with really hot girlfriends. Sometimes your friends might turn out to be jerks, but keep trying… If you’re lucky, you’ll just end up with a friend who likes you.

I’m sure most of you have funny friends, short friends, friends that climb on rocks. Or maybe you have friends that like the same things you do and you get along great. Perhaps you have other friends that like everything you don’t—but you still like them because they introduced you to something you’d never try for yourself, like Sushi and mustaches.

I started reporting to Gerald a few years ago and it was instant friendship. We’d meet for a weekly “one-on-one”, but refused to call them that out loud because it sounded awkward. We’d talk about work for a minute and then dive into more important things, like motorcycles, technology, You Tube videos, and scary movies, … but mostly: family.  

I loved hearing about Daniel because I had a son too, and could relate. Daniel is a great kid but I've never met him in person:

Gerald and I would exchange stories about things Rachel and Gwen would say. We’d laugh at each other’s goofiness at home. He loved Rachel and Daniel, and Gerald was a good man.

Gerald liked mustaches. Borderline obsessed. Movember wasn’t enough that he had to start his own “Mustache March” (of which I have personally won a few awards in his contest). He donated the money to “Locks of Love”, which made me feel good because I was doing something important and only had to compromise my personal hygiene to accomplish it.

Gerald was a diver, motorcyclist, family man, and a friend you wanted to have or be like. When I started this post I had thoughts of anguish and loss, of anger and longing. I wanted to write about what I’ll miss and otherwise express my sadness. 30 minutes ago I told work I was taking the rest of the day off because I couldn’t concentrate; which is entirely true. But when I started this post, I wanted to be sad, I wanted to get it out, but now I’m going to start writing one of the most cliché things stated in times like these:

“He wouldn’t want it that way.”

Sorry, but it’s true. I’m pretty certain Gerald would want to laugh. He knew me, he knows I’d want some jokes told if it were me. And that’s entirely true… But even I’m not ready for that. This post is about my way of grieving—it’s not meant to take anything away from what his family and closer friends are going through.

Oh, what Rachel and Daniel must be going through…

Ugh. Many of you might have experienced this type of loss. Certainly we all will at some point in life- the only way to avoid it is to die first. I’m going to wrap this up because if I still reported to Gerald, he’d want me to get back to work. I’m going to point you to another one of my postings here but the gist of that post is this:

Tell the people in your life what they mean to you (as long as it’s good stuff) while you still have the chance, and they’re still around to hear it. You’ll both feel good at the time, and one of you will feel glad you did when the other one dies. It’s that simple. I’ve used my own advice and contacted a couple of teachers I ‘grew up’ with to let them know the impact they’ve had. I’ve told friends as well, but it’s time I revisited that and started spreading the love again… Because you just never know w